Work kinda sucks. Ive got a boss who’s shit, A boss who isnt technically my boss but acts like im a little slave to do all of his bidding. Very very annoying.
I went to stee’s on saturday, played a little Guitar hero II. I robbed it back off him, cause hes getting too good. I did leave him GHI and the guitar, so we could both kinda of practise.
I Like to think im not too hypocritical, but i will admit i have my hypocritical moments. And thats one.
To explain that, some background.
I love games. I’ve always been good at games. In fact, the only thing i WAS good at growing up was games. Crap at sports, an over achiever in school, but i went to crap schools so my high achievment is actually pretty lame. But games. I was always Awesome at games. Crap at sports, Mediocre intellectually. Great geeks.
I used to love going to my mates house and beating them at games that i had barely played. I used to love that feeling of being good at something.* at being able to beat someone technically “better” than me at something because they had played it more.
But when the reverse happened? Oh boy was i a sore loser. I hated when people beat me at “my” games. It used to bring back all that hatred of being crap and getting shit from people because i wasnt as good as them. So yeah, thats my hypocrisy. Or one of them anyway.
*This was probably because me and my mates never really bought the same games, so we’ve never really been able to say, bought at the same time, about the same time playing, and im slightly better than you, so we couldnt have a fair competition.*
I’ve matured a lot recently. I dont mind that so much when i play with stee. In fact, i love it when i lose to him, cause it gives me a target. Like Guitar hero, I never did try hard at all. Well, i tried, but i sucked so badly. Then , after lending it to stee, and getting it back. Ive already progressedthrough the first 2 tiers of songs, even though it is only 3* rating. Thats one of the reasons why i love the me and stee/lydi geek side. They make me try things i probably normally wouldnt.
On the subject of games; i honestly think that people dont realise how much my games mean to me.
Katie once said to me: “Why do you even care, how can it even satisfy you?”
I mean, to me, my games are my successess.
Its one of the few things i can do and not feel guilty about spending so much time doing. *No innuendos please* Its my reminder that i am in fact good at something. I cant flirt, talk polielty, Socialise, dance, get a great job, or do pretty much anything else, but my games are where I truly, truly get the feeling that I’m great at something.
I may not specialise in anything game wise, but im a great all rounder.
I suppose its just the fact that I love being able to say i am successful at something.
Random Example : I loved Elder Scrolls IV : Oblivion, and thought it was fantastic. Yet people look at me with astonishment when i say how much time ive got on my save file. I dont even feel guilty about it, which i did when i first started playing massive games (80 odd hours on FFVII was the first time I could say how many hours. The legend of Zelda games didnt have a in game clock.) anyway, oblivion, is now upto about 190 Hours. Ive done the story, got all 50 Acheivements (Xbox360), but i still love to play.
Anyway. Hopefully those who dont get it might eventually read this post and understand why im so obsessed with games. To a loser / geek / Self hater like me, its a chance to feel good about myself. Which is very rare in my mind.
Anyway, out for now.